I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
