he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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