so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
