isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
