All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
