I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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