Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
