He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
