then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
