She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
