have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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