Do vagina's smell?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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