You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
