I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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