you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
