I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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