that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
