Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
