i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize