Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize