why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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