she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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