I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
