We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up under a house in Key West
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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