I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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