i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need moral support for this bender
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
