it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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