he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
