So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
