Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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