does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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