smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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