i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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