I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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