glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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