Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
