We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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