I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize