even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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