i just google imaged poop.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Randomize
