We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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