Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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