i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
