For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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