I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I enjoy the company of your penis
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
