ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
