If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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