HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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