my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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