Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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