I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
