I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
