She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she looked like the before picture.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
