its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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