yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
