He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
