im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
