Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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