I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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