I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
