How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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