New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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