just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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