saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
