im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
